I don’t exactly know how to explain the pictures found here, but let me just say this: Once upon a time, in southern california, where it is pretty much summer most of the time, Bobby and I were invited to a welcome back party for a friend of ours at her parents’ house. Let’s say the parents’ house in question was, um, made completely out of marble and had a ton of gorgeous indoor/outdoor space and strange and beautiful exotic flowers growing everywhere. There may have also been delicious homemade kabab on the barbecue and more than a few kinds of cardamom-oriented desserts and like, i dunno, rosewater gelato or some shit. So anyway, this party also sort of overlooked the ocean, and occurred on a not-too hot kind of misty day with juuuuuuust enough sunshine to make the pool worth a dip. But i’d be lying if i told you that the hot tub wasn’t where the real action was at. So, yeah, fun times, boys and girls hanging out in bathing suits by the pool, and then all of a sudden, our friend’s dad’s like “who wants to see some guns?” and then things got pretty awesome. Dear mama: please don’t click on the jump unless you like bikinis, assault rifles, alcohol, and copious amounts of saturated fats. Oh, and ziplocked and freeze-dried cross sections of human brains. Don’t wanna leave that out.

The guest of honor

Amazing Ladies

Orange toenail club’s first ever national conference.

Ticklez c-walkin’ w/veggie burger.

and then…

“The world’s most dangerous group”

Bayonets and Brains

Knife, bone-handled.

Yogapocalypse

alas, ty

would be very tired at the mishka party later that evening

But would still dance when the gaslamp killer played bass choons of the proper variety

Can he be blamed?